Dolly Parton is the gosh dang coolest.
I think it’s pretty obvious by now that she’s one of my favorite people ever, and any time I get a chance to tell a story about her, I’m gonna take it.
We’ve talked about the time she was mistaken for a prostitute in New York City (one of my favorite’s), how she turned her now-husband Carl down the first time he asked her out, and today, we’re gonna talk about her first kiss.
And, it may not have happened exactly how you’d expect…
In a recent interview with W Magazine, she said that it all went down during a game of spin the bottle:
“My first kiss? Lord have mercy, I think my first real kiss was still in grade school.
Some girlfriend had a party at her house, and we played spin the bottle and, uh, I got my first kiss from a boy there.
A different boy than my first crush.”
The best part (for her more than anyone, really), is that it landed on one of the good lookin’ boys. I mean, was that not the scariest part of playing spin the bottle?
Ain’t nobody want to kiss poor little Timmy from homeroom who just got his braces on and reminds all the teachers to give everyone homework at the end of class every day.
Let’s be honest, ladies, all you want at 15 is to kiss the hot quarterback.
“But I was happy that it landed on one of the cute boys. I had a lot of boys in my life. I love boys. I still do.”
Her wit and sense of humor is seriously unmatched. Find me a funnier human being than Dolly… you can’t.
And, one of her biggest crushes as an adult was another legend in country music, Mr. Johnny Cash:
“I had a big crush on Johnny Cash. When I first saw him before I actually got to sing, my Uncle Bill, who used to take me around, we sat in the audience at the Grand Ole Opry.
And when Johnny Cash came out, he was young and he was skinny, and he just had that magnetism. The way he moved around, you know, so sexy.
I found out later he was just having withdrawals from drugs, but it still touched me. I always thought he was so, so sexy, so good lookin’ in those early days. I think he was probably my first grown-up crush.”
You can’t make this stuff up. She’s a one of a kind.
In the interview, she also talks about her now-famous butterfly tattoos (don’t worry, they’re all pastel colors to cover old scars), refusing to give half of the publishing rights for “I Will Always Love You” to Elvis for him to record the song, and much more.
As always, if you need a good laugh today, this should do the trick:
I’m telling y’all, we don’t deserve her: