Dennis McCarthy has the day off. Here is a “Best of Dennis” column originally published on Sept. 9, 2007 with the headline “‘Never give up!’ Aging Jack told budding biographer Ethan” in the Los Angeles Daily News.
“My buddy’s name is Jack Etlin. He was born in 1918 in Pennsylvania. His father was a shoemaker and his mom stayed home. Jack doesn’t have a religion.
“His childhood was fun. Jack played football and did wrestling. His hobby was reading books. He wanted to become a newspaper editor. His teachers didn’t have any influence on who he is today. Jack doesn’t wish he was a child again because he outgrew it.
“`What has helped Jack the most in life is ‘never give up, finish what you start.’ This has helped him because he succeeded in things and had fun.’”
Nine-year-old Ethan Jackola put down his pen and got ready for bed. The first chapter in the life of his 89-year-old new buddy, Jack, was done.
He’d start on the next chapters after his fourth-grade class at Balboa Magnet School made its next visit to the Jewish Home for the Aging to see their new buddies again.
His teacher, Angela Bronson, was right. The visits were fun. For 12 years, she’d been taking her class every year to the Reseda home once a month and letting the kids pick one buddy to write a short biography about.
She does it to honor her own grandmother, who lived in a nursing home before she died. Bronson said she knew how lonely it could be for the residents when no one came to visit.
Ethan and Jack hit it off right away. Sure, Ethan had to repeat himself a lot because Jack was hard of hearing, but that was OK. Jack was always smiling, always glad to see him and answer any questions Ethan had.
He couldn’t wait to hear what Jack had to say in the next few chapters of his life.
“The only thing Jack remembers about the Civil Rights movement is Martin Luther King Jr. because where he lived there wasn’t as much struggle as in the southern states.
“What Jack remembers about segregation is that Blacks weren’t treated fairly. Jack remembers that before the women’s rights movement the women didn’t have the right to vote and the men did.
“Jack thinks that women should be treated equally and given the same rights as men because they should be able to vote. Women shouldn’t be inferior.’”
Sharon Jackola was proud of her son. She had never seen him so excited about anything as he was about writing his book, “Jack and I,” for his new buddy.
“When he talked about Jack, there was a special tenderness in his voice,’” she said. “He truly enjoyed and looked forward to seeing and being with him.
“Ethan would take him outside in his wheelchair and give Jack a big hug before leaving. He was so excited about giving him the book after finishing the last chapter.’”
“I made Jack feel happy. I know this because once when I had to go get Jack from his room, he was hanging his head down.
“When he saw me, he lifted his head and brightened up. That was a special moment for me and this made me know that I am special to him.
“At first I didn’t hug Jack, but then I started hugging him when I left. If I could give Jack anything, I would give him a good book because he loves to read.
“Jack’s advice to me was to do a good job with my work, never give up, and when you do a job, do a good job.’”
Ethan had done a great job. He couldn’t wait for his next visit to give Jack his book before school ended last year.
“All the kids walked in with the books they had written about their buddies,’” Sharon said. “Ethan and I went looking for Jack, but he wasn’t in his room.
“He had been moved the week before by his son to the Jewish Home for the Aging in San Francisco to be near his family.
“While all the other kids gave their buddies their books, Ethan just sat in the corner alone. He looked so sad I almost started crying. We mailed Jack his book.’”
The letter from Craig Etlin, one of Jack’s sons, arrived a few weeks ago.
“Dear Ethan, With great sadness I am writing to tell you that my father, and your buddy, Jack, passed away last Saturday. He died peacefully in his sleep.
“I wanted to let you know how much my dad, my children, and I have enjoyed the book you wrote about my dad. We kept it in his room, and every time I took my children to visit him, they wanted me to read the book to them.
“Whenever I would get to the parts where you wrote ‘never give up,’ my dad would look up and say, ‘Never give up! Never give up!’
“I hope you can hear his voice saying that as you read this, as I can hear it as I am writing this. Your friendship was a blessing to an elderly man in the last year of his life, and your book is a gift to my family that we will cherish in all the years to come.’”
Ethan said he felt sad when he heard Jack died, but not as sad as the day he walked into his room last year to give his buddy his book and found he was gone.
“I knew he was pretty old and would die soon,’” Ethan said Friday. “I just wish I could have given him the book myself.
“I wanted to see him smile as he read it. I think he would have liked it.’”
Jack Etlin loved it.
Dennis McCarthy’s column runs on Sunday. He can be reached at dmccarthynews@gmail.com.