Before we were treated to the hosting debut of musician and actor Bad Bunny, Saturday Night Live kicked things off with a cold open on the House of Representatives’ third vote for Speaker — where the deeply unlikable Republican Representative Jim Jordan, who has some serious things to answer for during his time as an assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State University, emerged as the GOP’s nominee.
“I didn’t win, honey. Not this time, either. I’m feeling good. I’ll see you at home, sweetie. Bye-bye,” Jordan (played by Mikey Day) mutters, before breaking his phone.
“All I want to do is get Congress back to work so I can shut it down again!” he adds.
Into his office saunters George Santos (a pouty Bowen Yang), carrying someone’s baby.
“Why do you have a baby?” asks Jordan.
“No one seems to know,” he replies, before turning to Jordan’s aide, handing her the baby, and saying, “Can you take this? Just put it in an Uber.”
Then, Santos says he has to go because he’s just received a call from “Tupac.”
“Girl, I know. Jada is crazy!” exclaims Santos into the phone.
Next, Jordan receives a call from Lauren Boebert (Chloe Fineman), who rings him from the theater during a production of Aladdin — as her chest is groped by her date.
Last but not least is former president Donald Trump, who tells Jordan he’d run for Speaker of the House himself but he’s too busy doing a national tour of the U.S. court system.
“I’m doing great things for the courts… doing great things for the courts,” says Trump (James Austin Johnson).
He continues: “I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? They don’t play ‘Creep’ live anymore. Did you notice that?”
The other day, the GOP dropped Jordan as their nominee for Speaker after he lost a third round of voting in embarrassing fashion.