Relationship Obsession: Why Certain ‘Ships Stick With Us and We Can’t Let Them Go

Relationship Obsession: Why Certain ‘Ships Stick With Us and We Can’t Let Them Go

Television

In today’s world, whether you’re watching soap operas, comedies, dramas, procedurals, or reality television, shipping is a part of your viewing experience.

Romantic pairings have become more than just side stories for a primary character or something that a few fans dissect, but largely stay out of the main conversation. They are no longer niche obsessions.

For many shows, those who ship make up a large demographic of people tuning into a show. These are the people who strike up conversations, can drive engagement, and in some cases, they can even influence the narrative.  

Relationship Obsession: Why Certain ‘Ships Stick With Us and We Can’t Let Them Go
(Virginia Sherwood/PEACOCK)

Alexa, What Is Shipping?

I doubt you’re unfamiliar with what it means to be a shipper or what shipping entails. However, let me give you a crash course.

Shipping is simply a word to describe people’s desire to see characters, both fictional and real, engage in a romantic relationship.

And it’s not a new concept, dating back decades upon decades, even if it feels like it’s more popular than ever.

Some of the ships that come to mind immediately when you think about some of the standouts are ones like Ross and Rachel from Friends, Scully and Mulder from The X-Files, Jim and Pam from The Office, and Olivia and Fitz from Scandal.

(Ben Symons/Peacock)

These are all couples that were together on-screen, or canon, and they were wildly popular with fans who fell in love with the characters’ love and rooted for them through every breakup or argument.

And while canon couples are always popular, non-canon couples are arguably even more popular, depending on the level of engagement.

Think Buck and Eddie from 9-1-1, Dean and Castiel from Supernatural, and in a real-life context, Nicolas and Olandria from Love Island USA Season 7.

These are dynamics with intense chemistry and emotional connections that fans hoped, or are still hoping, will develop into romantic relationships. They make you wonder, what if?

And for many, it’s that unfulfilled potential that keeps them sticking around, even when things may feel bleak.

So, Why Do We Get So Invested?

(ABC/Screenshot)

One of the reasons shipping has become so significant and personal is that it’s something many people can relate to.

We often watch series because they’re entertaining, of course, but also because we usually see parts of ourselves in our favorite characters, which is a healthy projection and a common aspect of viewing habits.

We see their strengths, desires, and flaws, and we relate them to ourselves, creating an even deeper level of emotional investment.

Scandal was one of my all-time favorite series because of how much I saw myself reflected in Olivia Pope on-screen. She was older than me, and I’m not in the business of crisis management, but there were many other attributes of Olivia’s that I related to.

And through watching this complicated woman, I felt a connection. Therefore, her various relationships evoked a deeper response in me than a character I didn’t care about all that much.

(ABC/Screenshot)

When Oliva Pope was loved out loud, I felt that deeply in my soul.

Writers craft these relationships that may mirror your real life or be the stuff of fairytales, but for many, they invoke that piece within them that may long to see love triumph.

Or may long to see romantic fulfillment, even of the fictional variety, while existing in what can be such a cruel world.

Building these dynamics, often via tried-and-true tropes, allows audiences to feel represented.

Making a Plea - Supernatural Season 15 Episode 18
(Bettina Strauss/The CW)

A lot of non-canonical ships rise in popularity due to sheer chemistry, but even that chemistry between people is something we can relate to. And couple it with conflicts, tension, and vulnerabilities, and you have these compelling dynamics that audiences yearn for.

Romance novels have been around for a long time, and people have often flocked to them as an escape, to be entertained, and to feel some hope.

The same could be said for those who ship relationships crafted on television.

Current Ships Igniting Conversation

Partners in Cuisine -tall - The Bear
(Chuck Hodes/FX)

Ships are a VERY unique and personal thing.

And while some ships get more love than others, no ship is truly universally adored because people have varying tastes, and frankly, there are also just a lot of haters out there in the world!

But your favorite ship may be someone else’s most loathed, and honestly, that’s okay. Like and let ship, especially as it pertains to fictional characters.

Some of the ones that have blown up and been the most controversial involve love triangles, or instances where fans are divided between wanting two characters to remain friends versus taking their relationship to romantic levels.

Benson and Stabler of the Law & Order franchise have long been shipped by fans (think over twenty years!), and antis will tell you that they’re better off as friends and co-workers.

That while there may be underlying feelings, a relationship between them would be complex and end in heartbreak for them both.

(Disney/Christopher Willard)

Those on the flip side would tell you that there are tons of examples of the two of them being emotional supports and understanding each other in a way that no one else in their lives has ever done before.

They’ve reached a place where they can finally give in to their mutual attraction and see if there’s something beneath all that electric chemistry.

A Benson and Stabler romance would represent second-chance love and friends-to-lovers relationships. Co-workers who were destined to meet, grew together and apart, and then found themselves together at the right time to give their relationship, at the very least, an opportunity.

Regardless of your feelings about their romantic inevitability, or lack thereof, their bond is undeniable.

Buck and Eddie are other example of friends to lover that many, have amassed a fanbase of people who’d love to see a multi-season, slow burn relationship develop between two men with a deep and rich emotional bond, who love and care for one another in a way unique to their other relationships on the show.

Together Again - The X-Files
(Ed Araquel/FOX)

Fans of theirs see family, respect, and emotional intimacy.

They have become a hugely popular ship amongst those in fandom who would like to see their relationship status change.

The same could be said for Sydney and Carmy on The Bear, whose co-worker-to-friend-to-lover journey is one that some fans have been clamoring for, as they see traits within the pairing that would translate to a healthy and pleasing relationship between the two chefs.

Others may think they work better as platonic best friends and could better support each other in that way. However, it’s universally recognized that the two have an inimitable and powerful connection.

(Disney/Christopher Willard)

There are countless other examples of ships out there that are currently sparking conversation, both positive and negative, and the passion from the audience stems from the nuanced characters and the dynamics created on-screen.

A television viewer can see good chemistry and building tension from a mile away, and they will feast on that, continuing to root for it to happen.

Shippers will always crave complexities and emotional nuance.

But as we know, at the end of the day, the writers will decide where to take the stories and where to take the ships.

Fans & Shipping

Lucas and Elizabeth Enjoy the Day - When Calls the Heart Season 10 Episode 2
(©2023 Hallmark Media/Photographer: David Dolsen)

As previously stated, ships are personal, and they affect people in different ways.

Some people can ship from afar, while others feel a deeper connection to the romances they enjoy. It’s a beautiful thing to see people connecting over a shared love of something.

Television is a wonderful thing, and fans of ships engage in hypothesizing and deeply exploring characters in a way that it can feel like sometimes the other series doesn’t do.

There are numerous times I’ve seen comments from fans at the end of articles that reveal a clearer understanding of character motivations than the series has ever dared to show.

(NBC/Screenshot)

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies for shippers, and in a perfect world, you could exist within your own shipper bubble and not have to encounter those who don’t subscribe to the same things you do.

“Ship wars” exist, and online discourse isn’t always peaceful, but at its very best, shipping is joyful and deeply human.

The rise of places where you can express your love for a ship has expanded through social media, and finding other like-minded individuals to have fun with and engage in banter with has catapulted both new and old ships into new levels of popularity.

Why We Can’t Let Go

Talking It Out - Roswell, New Mexico Season 3 Episode 8
(John Golden Britt/The CW)

Dating shows aren’t exactly new, but more shows are airing now than ever before. And, just as fictional characters, fans fall in love with the people on their screens and the real-life connections they are making.

They root for the hope of it all.

You root for the girl from the small town stepping outside of her comfort zone to find love across the country because it reminds you of yourself, or it gives you hope that there’s more out there in the world.

You root for the couple who would have never met had they not decided to throw caution to the wind and put their life on display in the hopes they’d find the love of their life on a beach in Fiji.

And even if they aren’t “real”, fictional relationships still make you feel seen and heard.

(Disney/Christopher Willard)

You root for the two women who’ve fallen in love along the way and allowed you to see yourself and your beautiful relationship, or the one you’d maybe like to have one day, reflected on screen.

You root for the ex-friends who’ve reunited and figured out that the beauty in their dynamic would only be enhanced by allowing themselves to fully embrace the gravitas of their feelings again.

Why would you ever want to let go of those good feelings?

Relationships resonate deeply with people, and there’s beauty in the emotional journey you go on while watching people embark on their own journey toward love.

I’ll say it again: live and let ship! And, please, please, please remember to ship passionately, but always ship responsibly!

(Ben Symons/Peacock)

What say you, fanatics?

Are you a shipper at heart?

What are some of your favorite ships?

What beauty do you find in shipping?

Let me know your thoughts, if you feel so inclined.

Comments and shares let us know here that you’re just as invested in discussing television as we are!

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