Somewhere in Jon Pardi’s neighborhood outside of Nashville, a man with a gray beard and a “fucked up cowboy hat” makes regular beer runs on his lawnmower, a la George Jones.
Is it bad that I wrote this down on a yellow sticky note titled “Dad Life Goals?”
The highly entertaining Jon Pardi interview on the Whiskey Riff Raff podcast just kept pumping out great moments. And I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing when Pardi shared a story about this man he frequently runs into at his local market:
“There’s this old guy, cause everything’s growing now, ya know, the lawns are getting bigger and growing… so he’s got this beard and he’s got gray hair and he’s got this long beard and he’s got this fucked up cowboy hat.
And every time he mows, man, he drives his mower down to that store and fills it up with gas and gets three tall boys of Busch Original. Every time I see him, and I somehow run into him all the time.”
Love for mowing the lawn is written on the hearts of dads everywhere. What is better in life than maintaining your home, getting away from your family, and drinking a midday beer or three while you’re at it?
If your lawn is big enough and you have the means for a John Deere, you can even semi-safely drive a “vehicle,” adding an extra dimension of fun and danger to the exercise. And somewhere in Tennessee, a bearded stranger extends his lawnmowing “chore” to include a trip to the market for a few Busch Heavy’s. Sign me up.
My lawn is, sadly, too small for a John Deere…
So, I fantasize about the day when I have the space and the reason to ride around my front yard in the sun, sipping beers and singing “Where the Green Grass Grows” at the top of my lungs with the smell of fresh lawn clippings in the air. It’s such a dream to me, I could see why someone would want to extend the experience: make your final pass on the lawn, hit the sidewalk, ease into the street, and hit the open road at an exuberant yet leisurely 5mph on your quest to grab another cold one to celebrate.
The old guy in Jon Pardi’s neighborhood found the cheat code for Lawnmowing Dad Life. And I must find him because I have so many questions…
Did he always dream about driving his lawnmower to the liquor store, like me, or is that habit out of convenience (or sad necessity, like the depraved and infamous George Jones story)? Are three Busch Heavy’s the correct amount of beer one should allocate for mowing their lawn, or is that just a halftime refill? Why is your cowboy hat fucked up?
And can I come with you for a ride-along so I can see what it’s like to live the dad life of my simple and degenerate dreams?
If so, Busch tall boys are on me.