Dressed head to toe in black leather, and flanked by two silent associates with reflective headgear, a Florida dominatrix addressed the Fort Lauderdale City Commissioners on Tuesday evening, curtly demanding the construction of a BDSM dungeon in Broward County.
“Good evening, councilpeoples,” she began. “You may call me Mistress.”
While the meeting was focused on approval of a $1 million yard waste management contract for the city, the woman — introduced as “Miss Krave,” and later reported to be pulling a publicity stunt for a nightclub about to open nearby — turned discussion to the need for a clandestine kink venue serving “doms and subs” in the area. She proposed that municipal leaders take “a quarter of that mil” to fund the project.
Krave declared herself neutral to the measure under review, but noted, “I do, however, find it interesting that you will spend almost $1 million to hide your secrets down the drain. Hiding that condom I know you used to cheat on your spouse with.”
The desired dungeon, Krave said, would be “created for us, by us, the taxpayers and voting citizens.” Closing her brief remarks, with one gloved hand raised, she cautioned: “Do not let this glamorous look distract you from doing your duty to take my demand. I look forward to spanking each and every single one of you at the new, esteemed dungeon. You are dismissed.”
While Miss Krave and her companions appeared to then leave the room, the Commissioners of course remained to vote on the waste contract, while ribbing each other a bit over having sex clubs in their districts.
“Are there any districts that have a dungeon?” asked District 2 Commissioner Steve Glassman. “Not that I know of,” answered City Manager Greg Chavarria.
“I know there were a couple of proposed clubs of a variety of natures from a couple of years ago — I thought they were mostly in District 2, though,” said District 1 Commissioner John C. Herbst. “We have a lot of things going on in District 2,” Glassman replied, “but I don’t think we have any dungeons.”
The panel then brought the waste management deal to a vote, with Herbst seconding it. “But not for the dungeon,” he clarified. The measure passed unanimously.
According to local TV station WPLG, Miss Krave and her entourage also handed out business cards for a nightclub called KRAVE X MIAMI, near Miami International Airport, a nightclub and performance venue slated to open in February 2023. The new club replaces the city’s iconic Club Pink Pussycat strip joint and is advertising itself as women owned and operated. “The management is solely female, and KRAVE as an entity represents women, minorities, and the LGBTQIA+ community,” according to the space‘s creative designer, Mark Lowe.
So, for all the laughs she got at the City Commission meeting, Miss Krave seems to have drummed up a decent amount of attention for a nightlife spot that may or may not include a dungeon element. Still, it makes sense for locals funds to be redirected toward expansion of this scene. As the Commissioners themselves admitted, the county is sadly lacking in sex-positive small businesses where citizens can explore their taboo fantasies in a safe and healthy manner.
Why withhold money from the arts and culture community? Sure, cleaning up yard waste is important, but you can’t put a price on local flavor. Either way, those local officials could be getting those spankings sooner than they think — maybe even at the ballot box.