The Zach Bryan-Brianna Chickenfry breakup heard round the country music world has escalated to a whole other level.
Bryan is a man who needs almost no introduction, except to establish that much of his most popular music comes as a consequence of not being so good in romantic relationships. Sorry Zach, it’s true! I mean shoot, if it feeds your artistry, more power to you I guess.
What if nontraditional musicians turn the tables on you, though? What then? I suppose we’ll find out in the coming days if Bryan has any response at all to the epic diss track laid down by Barstool Sports’ Dave Portnoy and Josh Richards. In defense of Brianna, the artist known as El Presidente — that should totally be his stage name, by the way — and Richards clapped back at Bryan for his alleged poor treatment of their friend and colleague.
It was announced earlier on Tuesday by the BFFs podcast that Portnoy, Richards and Brianna host together that “Smallest Man” would drop at midnight.
Smallest Man. Tonight at midnight ET pic.twitter.com/U0YwxVkk1L
— BFFs (@BFFsPod) November 5, 2024
The title and timing of the release appear to be references to none other than Taylor Swift. Dave has made it known that he’s an unabashed Swiftie. “The Smallest Man On Earth” is a famous diss track by Taylor, addressed to an unidentified ex. Note Dave’s shout out to Swift’s “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” in the tweet/X post below. It’s a clear shot at Bryan.
Dedicating this to @BChickenfry https://t.co/H5aqvKbJ87
— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) October 22, 2024
That song comes from Swift’s latest mega hit album, The Tortured Poets Department. Her previous LP was titled Midnights, so I can’t help but think the midnight release of a song about Zach Bryan is a meta double whammy of Taylor Swift allusions from El Pres. Somewhere Kelly Keegs is smiling (IYKYK).
Whereas Bryan left a rather perfunctory message on Instagram to announce his breakup with Brianna, she was completely blindsided by the news. Brianna then announced that she was taking a mental health break from the BFFs pod to deal with the fallout of her relationship ending.
See you all next week pic.twitter.com/CIWrHLWmhc
— BFFs (@BFFsPod) October 30, 2024
A cold, cynical person could say something like, “Well shoot, I got my heart curb stomped. I still had to go back to work the next day!” I am not one of those people. It sure sounds like Brianna was in a relationship in which she put in the vast majority of the effort, only for her uber-famous beau to take her for granted.
We’ve all heard stories like that before, but for it to happen in such a public setting and all the scrutiny that comes with it? Despite how big Brianna has gotten at Barstool, this romance with Bryan shot her to a whole other level of fame. It’s spiraled into this whole messy thing, so I don’t blame Brianna one bit for stepping away to prioritize her well-being.
Dave has been very clear about how his support for Bryan during the relationship was lukewarm at best.
“I was never a liker. I think he’s a fraud.” – Dave on Zach Bryan pic.twitter.com/OAMXFFA6Hl
— The Unnamed Show (@barstoolunnamed) October 24, 2024
This is the classic case of wanting to support your good friend as long as they’re happy, all the while being rather certain that, deep down, this isn’t what’s best for them. Who’s to really say, though? Sometimes that friend has to see it through, myriad red flags be damned. A couple can seem like an odd fit on paper, only to be deliriously happy together. Plus, romantic relationships are such a trial and error endeavor — and that trial is by fire. The brighter the passion burns, or the more you invest in the other person, the harder the fall tends to be when they let you down. Sure proved true here.
Watching this diss track unfold, too, I can’t help but think back to when I used to work at Barstool Sports. Not being on Dave Portnoy’s radar totally factored into me losing my job. I met him once and he didn’t remember me, but he was totally cool. He said I was doing really good work as a writer and to keep it up. Super approachable.
But like, in not knowing Dave well at all, I never got to the point where I could’ve been on his bad side. Having seen countless examples of those real-life dramedies over the years, it’s not a place anyone should want to be.
Dave strikes me as a guy who will do anything for the people he cares about. If you cross him or one of his friends like Zach Bryan did, he will go to extraordinary lengths to annihilate you on the Internet. Maybe it doesn’t hit as hard with Bryan as it would with many other people since he’s a superstar country artist. That status shows no signs of changing even with what’s transpired in his personal life to date. However, I can’t imagine Bryan feels good hearing Dave and Josh Richards go off on him like this.
Stoolies ride and die with Dave. Always have, always will. There’s a sizable chunk of people in that crowd who are gonna straight-up hate on Zach Bryan till the end of time at this rate. No matter what excellent new songs Bryan can crank out about his latest breakup, this diss track won’t be easy to respond to, musically or otherwise.
In closing, wishing Brianna Chickenfry all the best, and hoping Zach Bryan learns from this and does better the next time around with his next significant other.