“The world is so future now. And I feel in the way of it,” the Tennessee native said in his debut as SNL guest host. Hotels, he explained, are “futuristic.”
“I remember when you’d take a shower, the shower’s enclosed. But now a lot of hotels have half a glass, and water gets on the floor. And that’s the future,” he joked.
“In the future, the floors are always wet. Every floor,” he continued. “I’m 44. My daughter is 11. When she’s my age, it’ll be 2057. I don’t even believe that’s a real year! My movies didn’t go that high in fake years. How am I going to talk to someone from 2057? I have more in common with a pilgrim.”
Bargatze, whose Be Funny tour extends through next June, went on to admit that even though he doesn’t read “any books,” he’s trying to boost his knowledge of history.
“And I can tell I don’t know anything about history because every history movie I watch, I watch on the edge of my seat,” he joked. “I watched the movie Pearl Harbor, and I was as surprised as they were.”
Keeping with the theme, later in the show Bargatze would play George Washington telling his Revolutionary War soldiers what he envisions for the country they’re fighting to create.
Turns out, Washington was keen on not using the metric system, much to the inconvenience of just about everyone.
“I must confess, sir,” says one of his subordinates, played by Mikey Day. “Why not use meters and kilometers?”
“We will, soldier,” Washington assures him. “But only in certain unpopular sports like track and swimming.”