Still, if one can put those elements aside, “He’ll Never Make Me Cry…” is an utter blast. While Wolvie and Nightcrawler plan to give Colossus a “man up” talk, they get a better idea when they see Cain Marko aka Juggernaut minding his own business at the bar. But when Colossus accidentally spills beer on Juggs, Wolverine decides the best lesson is a beatdown from the unstoppable foe. The result is a delightful beatdown that ultimately makes readers love the characters all the more.
“Slumber Party” (The New Mutants #21, 1984)
The Demon Bear Saga might last just three issues, but it has more horror and intrigue than nearly any other story arc of the original New Mutants comic. So after that tale, in which an evil psychic entity from Mirage’s past threatens her and the other young students at Xavier’s school, it makes sense that the team would need a breather. So the girls of the New Mutants blow off steam in the best way they know how, inviting friends from the Salem Center over to the mansion for slumber party.
A lot of “Slumber Party” lets the New Mutants kids be kids, trading jokes about pop stars and teasing one another about crushes. Although he writes in his usual exaggerated style, Claremont has a clear handle on the character voices, helping them feel like well-rounded figures. However, the pencils come from Bill Sienkiewicz, whose manic line work better suits a horror story. And sure enough, “Slumber Party” becomes just that when a mysterious alien begins stalking the teens.
“Ladies’ Night” (Uncanny X-Men #244, 1989)
Uncanny X-Men #244 is the first appearance of Jubilation Lee, a teen with the ability to shoot fireworks from her hands, who will become one of the most popular characters on the team. Does that mean the X-Men leave the mansion and go to the mall, you ask? Of course they do, I answer. Where else will mall babes eat chili fries?
“Ladies’ Night” takes place shortly after Fall of the Mutants, a pseudo-crossover in which everything went bad for all X-characters. In the case of the X-Men, they appeared to die on live television and were hiding out in the Australian outback, getting around via an Aboriginal mutant teleport called Gateway. If that sounds like a lot, then rest assured, “Ladies’ Night” is not. Realizing that the team needs to blow off steam, Storm has Gateway send her, Psylocke, Dazzler, and Rogue to an L.A. mall, where they shop, flirt, and battle a team of doofus mutant hunters called The M Squad.
“Resurrection and the Flesh” (X-Men #4, 1991)
No, “Resurrection and the Flesh” certainly does not sound like the type of fun, standalone story that has populated this list so far. And, in many ways, it isn’t. Not only does it debut the super-edgy bad guy Omega Red, but “Resurrection and the Flesh” includes a jumble of storylines involving Banshee and Moira MacTaggert having a spat, Shinobi Shaw leading a hip version of the Hellfire Club called the Upstarts, and other regular soap opera stuff.